People can die from asthma attacks, especially if they dont have access to their inhalers. NTA. if someone going to collage is all they need to get set off on this super insercure episode those are people i would not want to be around. Everyone thinks asthma is no serious thing. Demands were never gonna do shit, actions were. I do not understand how they were not uninvited after the tire slashing. You gotta step up for your man, yourself, and your future children because no way this stops at the wedding. Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. NTA. NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. This should be the top comment. NTA. I would keep my future kids the fuck away from those toxic assholes. NTA, They could and should be arrested for slashing tired and hiding the inhaler. You dont hide an inhaler away from someone. These are the types of jackasses that don't believe food allergies are real. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. Run off with your fianc and dont look back. Hill to die on is a good metaphor because an asthmatic can die without his inhaler. These people would be as dead to me as Tim could have been. I know I'd be done after the tire slashing incident. It was really sad she was in her mid 20's like this shit can be life threatening if an attack isn't treated correctly. I think it would be good for both of you. You dont hide someones inhaler their inhaler can mean the difference between life and death. Even if you dont, I think I would be pretty furious at him for being so selfish he would rather potentially die and leave me and our possible kids without a husband and father because hes too afraid to go to a doctor to find out if he has a condition thats actually treatable with simple medicine! Are they rednecks? NTA. You don't need them at your wedding and honestly? It eventually got sorted but seriously, what was the point? What theyre doing arent pranks your fianc doesnt have to prove ANYTHING to your family. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. All these grownass dudes doing this just cannot see they're actually showing everyone how stupid they'd rather be. My siblings have disowned me and speak badly about me and the situation. HIDING HIS INHALER? AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? The way your parents have reacted is worse. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating? NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. Cut them off, OP. Just stuck a needle in my back and tapped me like a maple tree. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. Clear vandalism and harassment, and Im pretty sure some kind of theft charge could be leveled against them on the inhaler. I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. NTA for calling them out but you are TA for letting it continue this far. Everyone thinks it's some made up thing just used as an excuse to get out of things. I have asthma. That's some courage, at 22. This was DANGEROUS. Who know what theyll try to pull there? This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. He was my hero. Your fianc has nothing to prove to anyone, all this is is toxic, insecure men making someone they see as a THREAT feel small. I agree. Yup, this is essentially hazing someone who doesn't even want to be in their stupid frat. Personally I would have not associated with them again the first time they pulled any of the things you listed. Or not even cut them off, just make sure I am not in the position where they could do that to me again e.g. Thats a crime and in some cases fatal. NTA. I have endometriosis. He also gets occasional chest pain. Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. Heaven forbid you have a son that needs an EpiPen with these monsters around. Seriously, OP has definitely shown Tim her priorities. My dad was an engineer, but he recognized early on that my now-husband was not a 'doer' in terms of being super physical and labor and all that. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. Let them sulk. When the complain have him directly tell them to stop whining and take it like men do. I grew up with a very messed up family. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. From what you've said I sure don't. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I would not have put up with them especially when they slashed my tires. This is a serious condition and not something to prank with. It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. Your fianc deserves your support and protection from your asshoke family members. Try to embarrass, or challenge his authority in front of them? Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. You should cut them off. These men are absolute Neanderthals! If OP had an actual spine she would have cut off her family after the slashed tires incident. If anyone did this to my husband I would have saw red. AmItheAsshole Original. What gives them the right to test him? NTA, and get security just in case if they even try to get in, The men in your family are assholes. NTA all the way. Fuck 'em. were not shunning her. But I keep refusing to re invite them. Because I'm sure as hell don't think it will stop at the wedding. You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. You have already been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. You know what OP's group of male family members are doing? To be fair, it is quite likely that they have bullied her for her entire life too. Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. They dont like Tim. If you feel you need your inhaler, you need your inhaler NOW. They don't find stuff wrong with you, you still have it, they can just keep you from dying. What theyre doing is ritualised abuse motivated by toxic masculinity. You can certainly take them on trips and include them in the family activities and all that, but always follow the number one rule of life, Don't be a dick. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Yep, that guy sure loves OP for putting up with her AH family. Because they'll show up to the wedding and proclaim themselves as MeN tHaT aRe Up FoR tHe ChAlLeNgE. NTA. If you ever have children, whos to say they wont bad mouth him to them? Husbands family in the other hand probably won't like the reception. I talked to my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted that it was all gone. Yes. I, unfortunately, made the mistake of giving in and inviting my father to my graduation. No fun indeed. I wonder how long they would have hid the inhaler if he started having an emergency. I am going to try him again. NTA They slashed his car tires, made him play chess (How does that even determine manly status the hell? Theres nothing normal about this OP. NTA, your username is more accurate than you may even realize. Same here. They are cruel people who have been bullying your fianc, these things are not pranks. Get it together. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. Its way past any reasonable persons definition of acceptable and moved straight to harassment. Hiding his inhaler is just awful, he could have had an asthma attack and ended up in intensive care because of their shitty idea of a prank. Soooo NTA. if something is destroyed or someone gets hurt (regardless of intention) then it is not a prank. So it's safe to assume they would have stopped pranking after they "accidentally " killed him? I remember when someone first suggested I was being emotionally abused, I thought they were being ridiculous. This is damn near attempted murder. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. NTA I mean I am in the process of suing a doctor for exactly this. Welcome to the end times. He should just man up and breathe good like the rest of them. For real. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. NTA. Good on you OP for leaving this toxic FOG and stand your ground. Also wtf will they put any potential Male children you might have through as well, under the pretence of helping then man up? He was constantly belittling my efforts, my masculinity, my profession, and my art. Dont re-invite them, and I would heavily consider going No Contact or Extremely Low Contact with these assholes. Depending on how bad the asthma is it could be way beyond cruel. This reads like the first 2 acts of a horror movie. For more information, please see our Yeah, like, I think there's two judgements to be made here. I basically told him that if he is considering not coming then dont even bother. im sure OP has tried to shut it down before. All they're doing is alienating you and your man from the rest of the family. Cant have no man treating his daughter like an equal person and human being /s . Stealing someone's effing inhaler out in the wilderness is trying to kill that person. Timmy didn't drive the wedge between you and your family. Next time they try to manipulate you into downplaying their behavior by holding their respect for Tim at ransom, tell them they will lose your respect and see how much they care about it, my guess is they won't. He deserves a medal for that. It was not fun. Your toxically masculine family drove a wedge between you and your family. (I was diagnosed at the urgent care with a failing galbladder. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? And it's not about me. Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. Just look at the way talk about him! Her brothers don't care enough to be in her wedding if they are in the same room as another person they don't like. This has to be fake. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. I'm not on the spectrum, and I can read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension. Obviously the inhaler thing is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires? If they wanted to be at your wedding they would have respected both you and your fiance instead of bully/assault him. 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